Doug does know.

It has only been a few hours since I’ve translated and spoke aloud the first of the demon resurrection passages from the Book of the Dead. And now, I fear that I have become host to a Kandarian demon. May God forgive me for what I have unleashed onto this earth.

How lucky we English are to find the toilet so amusing. For most it is a mundane and functional item. For us it is the basis of an entire culture.

I am typing this message from inside my toaster. Please send help.

Please don’t call me by my real name - it destroys the reality I’m trying to create.

BBCi reports that the GameCube console isn’t doing too well. Just think about this for one moment: If Nintendo lose their place on the gaming market, just who will save the Princess?

“I’ve been in this cage for three years and five months (and seventeen days) but who’s countin’?” - Reminds me of Mad Gerald, only he hasn’t heard any of those words for twenty years.

If any of you happen to know how to make an origami model of Red Dwarf, Starbug or Blue Midget could you please email me the instructions; I can only master the paper-cuts.

Well that’s another fine mess you’ve got my testicles into…

I was going to comment on my Collector’s Edition Corn Flakes box which I got this morning, but I have since seen The Matrix Reloaded.

’twas much better than the first film (which I hated) but other than the motorway chase and the big fight scene it still disappointed.