You can go there even though it doesn’t exist.

I’ve just completed a questionnaire to find out what Red Dwarf character I am most like:

“You are Dave Lister: King of the slobs, and master of insubordination, you try to make the best of your life even though you’re the last living human. If only people would see things your way once in a while… they’d probably be in pieces by now…”

Funny, I always saw myself as Talkie Toaster. You know, irritating, repetitive… irritating. And we both love bread.

For the last three days I have been familiarising myself with A Hard Day’s Night and Morgan: A Suitable Case for Treatment. I’ve also been brushing up on The Wicker Man, as I chose to do it as an independent study having seen it many times before.

It’s so annoying - three days of solid work (plus over a month’s worth of lesson time) and it all boils down to an hour and a half of writing. If only I had to sit a Red Dwarf exam.

I’m revising buns.

I’ve just seen X2 (X-Men United) and it got me thinking: If I was a mutant and could choose my own special power, what would it be?

Well, it would probably be the ability to sense imminent danger - thus providing me with ample time to cower under a table with a colander on my head.

As if you didn’t know.

-… .. –. -… .-.. .- -.- . / . -. .— — -.– … / -.-. — -.. .. -. –. / - . -..- -

I get off on the pain I inflict.

I sit by my computer night after night. It is the question that drives me: “Where do all the calculators go?” The answer is out there. It’s looking for me. And it will find me if I want it to.

Mr. Jolly does live next door. As does his chainsaw.

I’ve just treated myself to a Bombay Bad Boy (that’d be a type of Pot Noodle and not an Indian rent boy) which, despite making my eyes water, I really enjoyed.

Yes, BigBlake does enjoy the slag of all snacks.