Look - we haven’t got all night. We’ve got the whole street to do. Now I’ve got my tights on, Eddie’s wearing a banana - now just give us some cash.

Well done (and thanks) to all involved with the LIVE episode of The Bill - a success on every level!

Welcome back online, sir.

My computer has finally been exorcised so normal updates should resume from tomorrow. Oh, and I found my wallet.

How very annoying. It’s like buying a video (or DVD) and having the main feature shown on television the following week. Okay, it’s nothing like that but you know what I mean.

In the early hours of this morning, Channel 4 aired The Cult Of The Wicker Man, which would’ve been very helpful a few months back. Bah.

Autom-sprou-canda-tickbana-sandwor-budnorsellaswie?

The 100 Greatest Scary Moments - I was under the impression that the scary moments were from films. Still, it was interesting to learn of Papa Lazarou’s origin and very pleasing to see the chilling Judderman again. Craig Charles’ appearance (from Ghostwatch) was obviously my favourite part of the countdown. But I was equally pleased with The Evil Dead getting more air-time than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Mwah ha ha ha…

I’m having a day off of everything today. Because I can.

Has anybody got any whipped cream?

I’ve gone and lost my wallet. Has that ever happened to you? Disasterous. It had all my things in it: all those little notes saying “Forget ye not” and, of course, all my money.

Mork & Mindy!