Some nob jockey has shaved off a chunk of my eyebrow.

I hate Myspace - and all social networking sites come to mention it. But a while back I discovered that each main Skins CHARACTER has a profile there.

I’m ambivalent as to whether I think it a good thing - it certainly extends the realism. But come on, they don’t actually exist. Hats off to Channel 4 for an innovative marketing tactic but people are buying into it, seemingly believing the events of the characters seen on screen happened in reality to the people (characters) of the profiles.

It’s no different to kiddie-fiddlers setting up fake accounts and posing as characters they’ve invented of themselves. Apart from the interfering with children bit. Look but don’t touch anyway. (I’m joking!)

The BBC have now made a profile for Martha Jones - going as far as writing a couple of blog entries on her life before meeting the Doctor. It really is quite… interesting, I suppose - being able to extend the universe of fiction in such a way. But it seems a bit pointless to me - on a social networking site anyway; Gareth’s page on the original The Office site worked well but because it didn’t take itself too seriously.

I’ve often wondered what would happen if Davina named the wrong winner at the end of a series of Big Brother. You know, the pressure got to her and she blurted out the first name of the two remaining housemates that came to mind.

Just imagine it, all the jumping around and “Oh my god!” from the supposed winner. Not to mention the masses of people cheering outside.

I reckon she’d be instructed through her earpiece *not* to correct the blunder. Scandal!

I’ve found myself hugely addicted to The Office: An American Workplace.

It took me a while to get into the UK/original series (which I now love and consider definitive) but the American ‘remake’ has a greater sense of longevity to it. And I *want* to see more & more.

It’s hard to explain, but I could watch it as if it were a soap opera. Only, I don’t like soaps. Oh, you know what I mean.

Cheddar cheese popcorn. It sounds really weird, but that was the appeal - even though I’m not too fond of cheese.

It was horrible; the smell alone was nauseating and the taste indescribably bad. Avoid at all costs.

In the three years that I’ve been writing this blog, I’ve never struggled to write a post as much as I have with this one. I’ve actually spent six hours (and written over a thousand words) over the last four days on what would have been this post. Yet I’ve ditched all of those efforts because it didn’t feel right.

So here it is, the simplified version of my lengthy morality tale - simplified to save my head from exploding:

I knew someone for two years. We were completely different - interests, values, morals et cetera. I wouldn’t say we disliked each other (not quite), but we weren’t best buds either. A love-hate relationship was how it was oft-described by peers.

A few days back I somehow stumbled onto this person’s profile on a popular online community, and I read on out of pure curiosity. And by the time I’d finished reading, my opinion of this person had changed completely.

This is where the difficulty has been in writing this post, as now that I’ve seen a new side to this person, I really, really can’t remember what it was two years ago that saw us mutually almost disliking each other for two whole years.

So surprised at the new side I’d seen of this person, I messaged to say hello and share my eye-opening moment with them. I felt it a little daring; I fully expected to get laughed at - by the person once described by others as my “nemesis”. But I couldn’t understand how I got them so wrong.

I consider myself a fair person and a good judge of character, and generally don’t dislike people unless there is very good reason. So I asked around to see if I’d somehow fabricated a false memory of the two years we knew each other. And everyone has spoken of a constant friction between us - how we always clashed. But they also said that this person did come across as a hardened, wild and somewhat cold-hearted individual towards all.

This was of some comfort to me, as how I perceived them was clearly the impression they wanted to give off. But I can’t help but feel guilty now, as despite our supposed mutual ‘disliking’ of each other, we spent hours at a time in each other’s company (through choice) and never took the time to get to know each other properly.

It’s weird: only in recent days have I consciously recognised that there was something there. We even shared a ‘moment’ at a party once. Once.

I know that everyone has feelings - no matter how deep down under hardened shells they’re hidden. But I never knew this person to be so human, warm and affectionate; I really like this version of them and wish I’d seen it before. Still, we’re in contact again now and have both discovered new things about the other, so, I suppose, all is sweeet.

Fin.

Why are there always dry bits of snot in library books?

I’ve just reduced an eighteen year old female friend of my big-little brother’s to tears… merely minutes after meeting the girl.

Ha ha ha ha, that really is quite ridiculous isn’t it? Think: Nikki from this year’s Big Brother only without the tantrums and you’re spot on.

But perhaps more curiously, moments later - having put the willies up her (though not mine) - she was falling about laughing, saying I should have my own television show and asking if I could be the entertainer at her cousin’s wedding reception. What?!

A fire engine has just pulled up outside my house. Firemen got out, knocked on my front door, and asked if the house was on fire.

What was all that about?!

Unlike just about every other food product these days, I had suspicions that the official Custard Cream biscuits were actually getting bigger. And after a little bit of investigation today (aided by my trusty penis-measuring device), I can reveal that they have, in fact, gone up a whopping 2mm.

Value!