I need to get out more.

Big Brother According to Russell Brand tonight made for highly entertaining background noise whilst storyboarding tomorrow’s shoot for my Major 2 - a promo for The Times Crossword.

I’ve not watched much of the reality television programme since its third series, but this programme certainly made the best of what looked to be a series of dull moments.

Not a mean feat in anyone’s book. But vaguely amusing in mine.

They’ve set the new Tetley’s Tea television advert to the theme tune of The Addams Family. How bad a match is that?!

A wee visit to Atul K’s this morning to rectify his lack of Internet connection was unexpected, but a pleasant reunion all the same.

As well as the usual geekish talk that you’d expect of us (the gloss-finish of his Spider-Man 2 poster being a fine example), he said that he’d seen my idents on the Paramount Comedy channel, which is just wizard!

Also amusingly, he thought this was a condom packet - because of the words “slant tip” above the phallic outline.

In fairness, he did add: “I wasn’t sure as I didn’t think condoms needed sharpening.” Bless ‘im.

This, too, saw us laughing muchly.

I remember getting up and dancing to this. Back in the day, like.

I’ve just got a text message saying: "This is my new number - John". Now not being funny, but how is that in any way helpful given John is one of the most common names in the world?

This could possibly be the funniest thing I have ever seen. I was in stitches earlier laughing at it - I can’t imagine it ever not being funny.

Update: It was a video of Leo Sayer in Celebrity Big Brother attempting to give the camera the finger. But you were too slow and now the vid’s been taken down. Shame on you.

BUT… I made a copy if anyone’s interested. (Because I can.)

Boris Johnson has once again been hilarious on Have I Got News For You. I want his babies.

Well, I don’t - perish the thought. But you know what I mean.

I’m quite fond of a lot of Rowan Atkinson’s work - most notably the BlackAdder series and Not the Nine O’Clock News. I also watched each and every Mr. Bean episode (and film) despite never finding them anywhere near as hilarious as those on the laughter track evidently did. (I have never once laughed at Mr. Bean.) But still, he’s a very strong, amusing and generally likeable character; you can see the appeal.

The film was entertaining enough, but more so as a television-movie than the full on Hollywood blockbuster it was made to be. On this score, it was dire to say the least. So I was amazed today to stumble upon the trailer for a sequel: Mister Bean’s Holiday.

Firstly, I can’t think of a worse title used for anything ever. Sure, it’s an accurate depiction of the film’s narrative, but there’s no pizzazz or intrigue to it. It’s as flat as… my… lifesize Arnie cardboard cutout. (Steering clear of the pancake analogy, there.) Plus, of course, Mister Bean has never once been referred to in text as “Mister” - it’s always been “Mr.” Idiots. I’m not going to mention the fact that the first film saw the eponymous character going on holiday too, as it doesn’t need to be said.

The film itself looks awful. In fact, I’m not going to waste any more time talking about it. ’tis just a shame that nothing can be left alone these days - they’ve always got to milk successes like they would a pig.